After getting a bit frustrated walking all over Manhattan without meeting anyone who I would like to interview for two days, I decided to relax a bit and let my body rest. That just so happened to be the day that I finally met some people. I saw a man who I recognized from Berkeley, of all places, and he agreed to be interviewed. He says I interviewed him before, but I cannot recall that. I hung out with him and a large group of people for the rest of the day, taking pictures and chatting with other houseless people as well as some young punk kids who live with parents. I was getting a bit of stigma for the picture-taking from a couple of people, but the first guy I met, Swig, was backing me up— “She’s cool. I met her in Berkeley.” I made a mistake and photographed someone without asking. She had a black eye from a fight and I suppose I just knew she really wouldn’t want her picture taken. But all these thoughts of making such things that are often concealed or turned away from into things that are strikingly visible swirled through my head. She didn’t notice me taking her picture, but later on asked me not to. “I feel ugly right now,” she said. “You haven’t taken any already have you?” On the spot and feeling guilty, I lied and said, “No. I ask people before I take their picture.” Swig, again backing me up said, “She was taking pictures of me.” That makes me feel even worse, violating his trust. I cannot in good conscience keep that photo. I got some ’stigma’ from a couple of others as well. One guy asked, “Out of curiosity, what’s with the camera?” and went on to tell me about how a friend of his had their photo taken for an “art project” that ended up in the newspaper. I assured him I was not a journalist and the only places the photos may be shown is in a gallery in Berkeley. I had similar concerns from another person as well.
I have been thinking of getting my senior thesis printed so that it can be available for my current informants to read. It may build more trust and understanding if they see the results of my Berkeley venture. Other than that, I think it is only time which can build trust. That being said, I go now to walk around the East Village and into Tompkins Square Park to hang out some more.
